Do the Twsit

A wife tells her husband she doesn’t like when he gambles with his buddies and loses money. He continues losing badly every time he plays and she gets increasingly angry with him.

Playing cards with his buddy Mac, the husband loses $100 by the end of the night. He pays Mac $150 and goes home to his wife. His wife asks where he husband has been and he confesses to gambling with his buddy. She asks how much he lost this time and he says, “Mac owes me fifty bucks.”

ccoastal:

hanars:

luckykrys:

thecreach:

luckykrys:

"Anne Bonny and Mary Read were pirates, as renowned for their ruthlessness as for their gender, and during their short careers challenged the sailors’ adage that a woman’s presence on shipboard invites bad luck."
Sculpture by Erik Christianson.

I’m not entirely sure that the statue really needed to have a tit out.

How dare women try to have nipples.

Actually I’ve seen this before and I can tell you— it’s because these women were bad ass pirates and when they killed someone they’d expose one or both breasts so that when their victim died, (s)he knew that they were killed by a woman.

ACTUALLY Anne Bonny purposely wore loose fitting clothes and displayed her breasts openly at all times during battle - mainly because men were distracted by them, and she took pleasure in killing said men while they were too busy staring at her breasts. Mary Read dressed mainly as a man (after posing as her deceased brother, Mark, for the entirety of her childhood) and both ladies cross-dressed from time to time, hopping between ships. They were known as the ‘fierce hell cats’ due to their ferocious tempers, and were key elements to Captain ‘Calico Jack’ Rackham’s crew - they were the only two known female pirates in the Golden Age of Caribbean piracy. IN FACT, when the ship was captured by the British Navy, Anne and Mary were the ONLY TWO pirates who fought while the males of the crew hid - they were all tried to be hung as pirates but Bonny and Read were both pregnant and were pardoned.
Calico Jack was a lover to Bonny, and as he was to be hung, Bonny’s final words to him were, “Had you fought like a man, you need not be hung like a dog.” Bonny and Read were possibly two of the most badass fucking pirates and they were FEMALE. The more you know. 

ccoastal:

hanars:

luckykrys:

thecreach:

luckykrys:

"Anne Bonny and Mary Read were pirates, as renowned for their ruthlessness as for their gender, and during their short careers challenged the sailors’ adage that a woman’s presence on shipboard invites bad luck."

Sculpture by Erik Christianson.

I’m not entirely sure that the statue really needed to have a tit out.

How dare women try to have nipples.

Actually I’ve seen this before and I can tell you— it’s because these women were bad ass pirates and when they killed someone they’d expose one or both breasts so that when their victim died, (s)he knew that they were killed by a woman.

ACTUALLY Anne Bonny purposely wore loose fitting clothes and displayed her breasts openly at all times during battle - mainly because men were distracted by them, and she took pleasure in killing said men while they were too busy staring at her breasts. Mary Read dressed mainly as a man (after posing as her deceased brother, Mark, for the entirety of her childhood) and both ladies cross-dressed from time to time, hopping between ships. They were known as the ‘fierce hell cats’ due to their ferocious tempers, and were key elements to Captain ‘Calico Jack’ Rackham’s crew - they were the only two known female pirates in the Golden Age of Caribbean piracy. IN FACT, when the ship was captured by the British Navy, Anne and Mary were the ONLY TWO pirates who fought while the males of the crew hid - they were all tried to be hung as pirates but Bonny and Read were both pregnant and were pardoned.

Calico Jack was a lover to Bonny, and as he was to be hung, Bonny’s final words to him were, “Had you fought like a man, you need not be hung like a dog.” Bonny and Read were possibly two of the most badass fucking pirates and they were FEMALE. The more you know. 

(via kakumei-no-tomoshibi)

Be with her because you actually want to be with her, because you actually see a potential future with her, not because you are used to being with her, not because you’re scared of the thought that being without them will ruin you. The point of being in a relationship is to enjoy each other’s company, is to be there to support each other when they need it most. No one person, defines who you are. They only compliment you.

submissivefeminist:

calleo:

"It’s like being presented with a sirloin steak and being told you can’t eat it."

Well.

I presented my two dogs with an actual sirloin steak, then told them no.

Woofles didn’t even approach it when I set it down, as I hadn’t told him it was okay to do so.
Quinn approached it, completely ready to take it from the plate (as her manners are not yet as good as Woofles’ manners), was told no, and immediately backed off.

When Woofles heard the no, he turned away as well because he knew that steak was not for him to eat.

Notice how they didn’t ‘argue’, didn’t take it anyway, didn’t get aggressive, didn’t beg, or didn’t try to somehow persuade me that they should be able to have it.

They were told no, they backed off.

So, essentially, if you use that analogy to excuse rape, you’re saying you have less self control and fewer basic social manners than my two dogs.

That also probably means you should be neutered and kept on a leash.

I like this because of reasons.

(via auntiewitch)

Your fingerprints are all over who I am now.

iswearimnotadumbblonde:

films-n-shit-buff:

inthemess:

George Chamoun’s celebrity photo collages combine current celebrities with actors from Hollywood’s past. 

Shown here are: Marilyn Monroe/Scarlett Johansson, Cary Grant/George Clooney, James Dean/Robert Pattinson, and Audrey Hepburn/Natalie Portman, respectively.

This is so beautiful.

Aw sick

(via ithinkimprettyfuckingfunny)

(Source: prrrk03, via itsonlyyforever)

dofer49:

how elton john runs from the police

(Source: yourmaineventer, via confessions-of-a-lady-stoner)

Peter?

Peter?

(Source: eliego, via lesbiansparadise)

Oasis

selfproclaimedoptimist:

by the time they get to me
they never want to tell me the whole story.
they’re sick of reliving it for others’ curiosities.

i may be a deeply curious soul
but i’m ok knowing without the details;
i’m proud actually,
that they’ve noticed
that i won’t force them to tell,
i won’t be offended,
i don’t feel untrusted,
because, actually,
they trust me to respect their choice
as victims
not to share.

ultimately,
they are the hurt ones
and right now
it’s not about how i feel.

i don’t need to know
exactly why they’re crying
to be able to hold them,
because if they’re crying
by the time they get to me
my only curiosity,
is wondering
how i can make them smile again.

phantomviolet:

THIS JUST BLEW ME AWAY

(Source: garlogan78, via wastedresource)